i think, our biggest problem is, we try too hard on impressing other people

I went through a phase of writing things on my blog with the expectation that people would like what they read. I checked on my views often, even dreamt that perhaps one day I could reach out to millions of people and make a living out of this. I figured something out; people don't care much about other people's views, thoughts, or stuff (unless you're someone, like maybe a celebrity or something). So I did what I thought was the only rational thing to do, I wrote what people would wanna read. I posted the link on any platform I could find, just to at least make my followers read them. It worked, some of my posts had plenty of views. and even so I was really anxious about what people thought of it, "bener gak sih penggunaan katanya" "does this post make me look like a total brag" "kalo pake bahasa inggris dikira nge sok ga ya" and so on.

long story short, just like that, my joy in writing vanished. So I stopped posting.

Entah apa yang terjadi selanjutnya, but I think I was probably having a rough day. Something I've learnt from experience, a rough day makes a good writer. The raw emotion must've been the oil to the engine, and it was a good start to an absolute great ride. I started writing again, this time, with no intention of getting people's attention. If you were to take the words of a clueless 19 year old like myself, then, take this one: writing to express yourself is much joyful than writing to impress other people (whom, by default, are set out to give 0 damns about what you actually think or feel. with few exceptions, of course). My greatest blogging days began the day I stopped caring whether anyone bother reading any of my posts, whether people liked my writings or not, whether people thought of it as quality or as worthless pieces of garbage. The sense of relief I get from expressing myself is be a big enough reason to continue. 

To end this post, here is a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie* showcasing why we shouldn't try too hard on impressing other people, although it doesn't have much to do with "expressing yourself" as this post mostly talk about, it clearly goes together with the idea that there are far greater things out there to focus on rather than trying to please the crowd. So folks, don't let the eyes looking down upon you be the stop sign. Continue to do what you love, rise above it.

*terima kasih untuk orang yang menghadiahi saya buku ini, such a good read.