Strength.

There are things that wont come your way when you chase after them. They only hit you when you least expect it. For me, one of those things is strength. Only when you're at your lowest point, when you're about to break, when you're about to explode, you realize how much strength you have inside. How much you've been through and how, in all those weak nights, you had taught yourself to become stronger. Experience is the cruelest of all teachers, and a certain something happened that made me realize how strong I am as an individual.

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When it happened, I did all those three options.

I let that 'bad thing' define me. All the things said to me, I believed. All the blames thrown, I took. I lost my self esteem, I lost my confidence, I lost my trust in myself. I just wanted to get it over with and I let myself become the victim. I blamed myself for everything. I labeled myself, even though I always stood with my principal; never label and/or limit yourself. I did both. It was horrible. :(

I let the 'bad thing' destroy me. I was not happy. I was not living. I was only wasting time and frankly, that was all I wanted to do. To waste time, to fast forward everything, to skip days. I was not there, it was only my body while my mind and soul was somewhere else. To come and think of it, it was so weird. How much one thing could change me. I felt weak and broken. As a matter of fact I was broken.

And as for the last thing... I honestly don't remember how I managed to had gotten there. As though one day I just woke up and I was doing good again. I just realized instantly and somewhat magically that I am much stronger than I think I am. That, out of all the people I always thought underestimate me, I was the one so clearly underestimating myself the most. I guess time just fixed me? From then on I became a better a person. I became wise, positive, and genuine. I became stronger than I ever was. Out of all those great things, I became happier. I am blessed. :)


So, all the troubles you have in life should never pin you down. Let it be a chance for you to bloom. Let it be a chance for you to fight. Let it be a chance for you to find yourself. God bless all of us!

MERCUSUAR

Hai blog kusem, maaf banget baru dibuka lagi. Bener-bener baru ada waktu. Sejujurnya ini udah jam 10-an dan gua udah ngantuk, kalo bukan gara-gara tugas ya gara-gara apa lagi? Inipun kebetulan aja tugasnya mesti pake laptop makanya sekarang gua posting sempet-sempetan aja yah.

Jadi, di smansa itu banyak acaranya. Gua mau ceritain (singkatnya) salah satu acara smansa yang asik banget.

Mercusuar

Bisa dibilang inilah acara yang berhasil bikin gua gak nyesel masuk smansa. Jadi, sejujurnya dulu gua itu ragu banget tentang masuk smansa dan belet nya lagi gua baru ragu-ragu pas udah keterima. Gua kan keterima lewat japres, nah setelah nem gua keluar ternyata (alhamdulillah) nilainya lumayan. Pas banget tuh sama posisi gua yang saat itu lagi bener-bener gak yakin sama pilihan sendiri. Gua pun izin sama orang tua untuk pake nem gua buat daftar sekolah lain. Waktu itu sih, pas gak diizinin gua jadi bete, tapi sekarang gua bersyukur banget gak ngubah keputusan dan lengser ke sekolah lain.

Akhirnya setelah masuk smansa dan bareng-bareng sama gugus gua, gua udah mulai suka tapi masih gak sreg juga apalagi pas dibagiin kelas. Awal masuk XSCI5 tuh gue agak gimanaaa gitu liat anak-anaknya. Kesan pertama yang gua dapetin tuh kurang asik. Alhamdulillah ada Mercusuar, gua pun jadi gak cuma cinta sama smansa, tapi cinta juga sama kelas gua ini. Kalo bukan karena Mercusuar, gua gak akan baur sama temen-temen dari smp lain, gak akan ngerti beratnya tugas smansa, gak akan banyak hal deh pokoknya!

Gua sama sekali gak nyesel capek-capekan dan bau-bauan di Mercusuar ini, walaupun tangan pegel karena ngangkat-ngangkat roti, tenggorokan soak gara-gara mesti toa, dan badan remuk karena desek-desekan di truk, it was all worth it!

Gua inget banget tentang "surprise" yang diberikan oleh aa teteh yang "ngeuna" banget terutama karena setiap "surprise" ini gua dan Elgi selalu jadi yang terdepan, terpampang, dan tertegang. Ya itu semua apalagi kalo bukan karena baris harus sesuai tinggi, gua dan Elgi jadi yang paling belakang, dan setiap diberi surprise ini, kita tiba-tiba jadi yang terdepan. Huft.

Pas masa Mercusuar gua belum kenal sama temen-temen dari smp lain, banyak yang awalnya gua sebelin sekarang jadi nyenengin, banyak yang awalnya kalem sekarang bawel, pokoknya lucu deh kalo nginget pas masa itu belum kenal siapa-siapa dan masih coba untuk ngira-ngira traits tiap orang.

Itu aja kaliya yang bisa gua bilang tentang Mercusuar. Maaf aja kalo gua kurang detil tentang kegiatannya, dan maaf juga photo yang gua pake di atas itu bukan hasil jepret sendiri tapi nemu di google, dan maaf ketigakalinya di post ini gua tujukan spesifik buat Siti yang wajah gelisahnya terpampang jelas di photo di atas.

Seeya!

Catch Up

Hello lovelies!

It's been a pretty long time, life has been.. well.. lived. It has its ups and downs and I think overall I'm doing pretty good. Highschool is nice, though of course there are days I wish I could just erase. 

Talk about catching up, I think there is nothing more interesting to talk about than Highschool. Have I made new friends? Yeah. Have I found my place? Mm perhaps. Have I tried out new activities? Definitely. How about first crush? There is someone. Are my grades good? Not sure, hope so. Well those are the only things I could think of about my new chapter.

Honestly, I'm in need of an adventure. I'm not saying that life is boring or anything but it would be great to be put in a new position other than where I am standing right now. The correct word is jenuh. Truthfully when I got into Highschool I didn't expect anything, I only wanted new friends and new experiences. Now that I'm here, at first it felt great, new, different. Now, everything is plain. It's like I "fitted in" waayyy too easily that I didn't have a chance to live the moment. Maybe I like starting over? Maybe that's exactly what I was hoping for? A new beginning, a drastic change. But, you know, moving into a new school isn't really a start over when half of the people you meet now are the people you went to school with for 3 years.

I didn't have the best reputation in Junior Highschool, I wouldn't say I had a bad reputation either. But, I want it to be squeaky clean again, no rumors, no mistakes in my past being brought back up, none of those. You can't really completely leave your past, can't you? That worries me. How can I redeem myself from all that I was, all that I shouldn't have ever been? 

That's my thoughts for tonight, I guess there's not much left to talk about. Hope it was worth your time. Love always, Me.

Lifehacks.

Thank me later, dapet dari chacha.com

1. Ngecat tembok

 

biar gak berceceran, iket aja karetnya di kaleng cat kaya gambar di atas.

2. Manasin makanan

berhubung microwave itu kecil banget, kalo pengen manasin dua sekaligus pake mug aja.

3. Nyari benda kecil

misal nyari anting, tutupin ujung vacuum cleaner pake kain kayak di gambar ini, nyalain vacuum nya.

4. Penahan kabel

Pake file clips, it's super effective!

5. Penanda

Buat nandain batas buka nya selotip tinggal ditandain pake tutup bungkus roti aja.

6. Transfer Api (sounds so silly)

Kalo lilin yang udah berapinya keburu nempel di alas, pake spaghetti belum mateng buat mindahin api.

7. Post It

biar serpihan/serbuk-serbuknya gak ngekotorin lantai, pake cara di photo ini.

8. Bedain kunci

Buat nandain kunci apa untuk pintu apa tinggal warnain pake warna nailpolish yang beda.

Sekian! Gak semuanya gua post karena beberapa itu gak relevant kalo menurut gue sih, semoga berguna yah:) Bye.

Things To Do When You Can't Sleep.

Skype

Listen

Blog

Kadang gua suka gak bisa tidur, tapi bukan insomnia juga sih. 

1. Skype sama temen yang gak bisa tidur juga. Special thanks untuk teman-teman yang suka menemani @alfarisi_i @farisarrafi @fararahan terimakasih teman-teman
2. Music buat menemani andai-andai teman begadang kalian udah tumbang satu persatu, paling oke nih buat yang perumahannya selalu sepi 24 jam {ngomong ke diri sendiri}
3. Blogging seperti saat ini gue blogging untuk menghabiskan waktu dan menanti saat "nguap pertama" tiba..

Btw, the pics from this type of posts are not mine. Thanks&Bye!